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| Q. Dear Dr Love,
I am a fan of your column, I have seen advice from you to other people and this time round I would also like to seek your advice. A few days ago, I went to look for a prostitute and I am unsure of whether is she contracted with any illnesses. I did not have any sexual transmission and kiss with her. All we did was, she rides on me with both our pants and undergarment on (she said that her private part and undergarment starts to get very wet), I squeezed her boobs with and without her bra on (did not lick it) and lastly she performed a handjob on me wearing a latex glove (I did not wear a condom and both of us washed hands before the handjob). After the hand job, I had an orgasm and came into the latex glove. Right after that, I got worried and went to the toilet to check if the glove is ‘safe’. I filled the latex glove she wore with water, to check is there any hole. To my surprise, I found out that one of the gloves has a hole and now I am worried that I may have contracted illnesses from her. I would like to seek your advice on this. Thank You! |
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| A. I can understand your concern knowing that you have been extra careful in this sexual encounter (no kissing, dry-humping, washing of hands, handjob). To review, the sexually transmitted infections (STI) that can be acquired through skin-to-skin contact is Herpes and HPV (Human Papilloma Virus) Infection. Firstly, your partner must be infected with the herpes virus or is infected with the human papilloma virus before you can get infected with any of these two STIs and secondly, for herpes transmission to occur, you must have an open wound or a break in the skin. The first one, you have no way of knowing, the second you can always check. It is still best for you to go see a doctor for a thorough check, to put all your concerns to rest. |
| Q. Dear Doc, I’ve been watching too much gay porn and I am wondering if it can influence my sexuality preference? How can I know if someone is gay? |
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| A. Some people are attracted to certain things, like gay videos, or people of the same sex and would often wonder if they were gay. For some, the attraction becomes intense that they go on to have gay relationships or engage in gay sexual relations, but for others, the attraction to everything gay changes over time that they would go on to have heterosexual relationships.
How does one change after becoming gay? Society uses two methods: psychological and religious methods. Psychological or reparative therapy tries to re-orient a homosexual to a heterosexual. Religious methods make use of the bible and touches on the person's religious belief and orientation. Presently, there is no evidence-based method that can change a gay person.
How to know if someone is gay? There are straight men out there who have feminine qualities or refined gestures and in the same manner, there are gay men out there who are good looking and muscular. So, the only sure way to know if a person is gay is when that person trusts you with that information. |
| Q. I have been having ‘cryotherapy’ treatment for more than 6 months. The warts cleared, then new ones appear. The cycle keeps repeating, with each recurrence happened within a week. What can I do to improve my situation? Am I going to live with this for the rest of my life? |
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| A. Warts is a treatable condition but not curable, thus, there may be a chance for recurrence and the recurring period is unknown. The virus will stay with the infected person. There may be a chance to recur after the treatment. At present, there are no medications to cure this infection, however, there is no life threatening impact. You may wish to discuss with your attending physician about the treatment and management of your anal warts. DSC CLINIC |
| Q. I just received a ‘handjob’ from a prostitute and ejaculated on her breast. There was no kissing involved. I only rubbed the top of her vagina for less than 30 seconds. She licked my nipple and I licked hers. I would like to find out the STD risk in this. I saw a box of Enoxacin tablets on her table. Please advise on the STD risk involved and if I should go for testing. |
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| A. Your encounter did not put you in any risk for STI and HIV. However, if the rubbing that you are referring to is genital rubbing genital, this is known as heavy petting. This carries a potential risk for certain STIs like Herpes, Warts, Syphilis etc but not HIV. However, most infections are cause by unprotected penetrative oral, vaginal and anal sex. You can practice safer sex by using a condom even for heavy petting. DSC CLINIC |
| Q. I've been sexually active these past few months and even though I use protection there have been times where there was some unprotected sex. I do not see any symptoms, but I was wondering if there were any simple things I could look out for on my body to see if there are signs of some sort of STI. If I do need testing, which would be the best and most cost effective location to get tested, as I do not the resources to go to certain higher priced clinics. |
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A. Not all STIs will surface with the signs and symptoms and can be tested. You can look out for genital discharge, rash, growth and ulcer as a gauge for infections. You may consider taking a blood test 3 months after exposure for HIV, Syphilis and Hepatitis B. A Herpes blood test will be reliable if done under the Type Specific Serology Test (HSV TSST) for Herpes but it may not be widely available. This screens for previous exposure to the virus, which can be done 8 weeks after the exposure.
For a male, other screening involves swabs to be taken from the penis. Additional swabs may also be taken from the rectum and throat. You will need to hold urine for 4 hours before the swabs can be taken. The tests can be done shortly after exposure and will screen for:
-Gonorrhoea
-NGU/Chlamydia
These tests can be performed at any STI specialist like the DSC Clinic. DSC CLINIC
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| Q. My last test was 16 weeks past exposure. It was a rapid test in DSC. Prior to that, Ive had test on 7th, 8th, 10th and 12th week past exposure. All returned negative. Is it conclusive, or should I go for a 24th week/6th month test to wrap it up. |
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| A. When doing a HIV test, you need to take note of the window period, which is between 1 to 3 months or 4 to 12 weeks after an exposure. You can go for a HIV test at the 1st month (4 weeks) and repeat at the 3rd month (12 weeks) for a conclusive result. Your test at 16 weeks is reliable and you do not need to re-test provided that there is no further exposure after the test. DSC CLINIC |
| Q: What is the different G-spot and Clitoris in females? |
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| A: G-spot is described to be in the anterior wall of the vagina. Clitoris is outside the vagina. |
| Q: what is oral sex? |
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| A: A sexual contact between the mouth and a sex organ is classified as oral sex. |
| Q: Why today condom has so many flavors? What is the function of the flavor? |
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| A: Now, condoms have 3 functions. Contraception, prevention Sexually Transmitted Infection including HIV AIDS, and pleasure. The flavor is used for this. |
| Q: Will external ejaculation prevent pregnancy? |
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| A: Yes if you remove your penis and ejaculate far for vagina, risk can reduce. However, sperm can leak before your ejaculation. Therefore, it is recommended that you use a condom to avoid unplanned pregnancy and also to protect yourself from sexually transmitted infections (especially if you are not married). |
| Q: Is it true that Prostate cancer or enlarge is mainly due to less active sex life. |
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| A: Sex is not directly related to Prostrate Cancer or enlargement. |
| Q: I am 17 years old. How many times can I masturbate in one week? |
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| A: it is quite common for a male to masturbate 3-5 times a week, as long you are healthy and not tired by it. |
| Q: Is it true that a girl’s vagina will bleed during their first intercourse? Is bleeding a sign of virginity? |
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| A: You don’t always bleed when having intercourse for the first time. The hymen can be perforated by other ways. Whether you bleed or not, by having intercourse for the first means that you have lost your virginity. |
| Q: What happen when we have a lot of sex, if we just 17years below? Is it effect to our body? Or something that we can take notes that our bodies are changing? |
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| A: You can have high risk of pregnancy & sexually transmitted diseases, with unprotected sex. As your body is still changing you may also have mental stress in a highly intense sexual relationship. |
| Q. I will like to know if its true that the longer we kiss, the higher the risk of catching any STIs. Since you mentioned that contacting STIs is only likely when a large amount of virus is involved. I recently kissed a female stranger for a long period of time, more than 1 min without stopping. Will I be at risk? Thanks. |
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| A. There is no risk of getting STI and HIV through kissing, deep wet kissing or French kissing, unless there are bleeding lips, gums or ulcers in both parties at the same time, and even this is considered a low risk. There is no documented case of someone infected through this mode. DSC CLINIC |
| Q. In sg, are there 'post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP)' treatment for emergency hiv exposure? |
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| A. The Post Exposure Prophylaxis(PEP) - antiviral drugs, can be taken within 72 hours after possible exposure. You can refer to the main page in our website for more information about the details. This is only available at certain institution like the DSC Clinic. The doctor will need to discuss the details with you. DSC CLINIC |
| Q. Dear Doctor, I used my fingers to touch/fonder another guy's nipples for about ten minutes. About 5 hours later, my index finger started to feel very itchy, the part between the nails and the inner side. The itch persisted for a few days and subsided gradually with no visible signs of infection. As my nails are quite short, I wonder what types of STD or infection could be transmitted to inside my fingers. Thank you. |
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| A. You are not at risk for STI including HIV. We would not be in the position to speculate on what could be the cause of the problem. We would advice you to visit a doctor as a physical examination is needed. DSC CLINIC |
| Q. i am a female, if i get a unprotected oral to a guy less than 1 min, and he was wearing the condom when we having sex. i am worry as i am not sure he got leakage or broke or lose condom and will i get hiv??? i know that the window period is 4 to 12 weeks it that anyway to know the state if get infected or not by hiv??? |
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A. If you did have protected oral, vaginal and anal sex, the risk is minimal for STI and HIV. However, on account of the unprotected oral sex, this poses a low risk for HIV but other STI such as Gonorrhoea, Herpes and Syphilis can be transmitted. The risk of HIV transmission through unprotected sex increases if there is contact with body fluids such as semen, vaginal fluids and blood, with the presence of sores and broken skin. Condoms, when used correctly and consistently and where there is no breakage or leakage, provide effective protection against sexually transmitted infections and HIV.
Licking of the female genital is also a form of oral sex and has been considered as low risk for HIV, but other STI like Herpes and Warts are possible. Protection like a dental dam, household food wrap like Glad Wrap and a latex condom cut up and open flat can be used. Dental dams are small, thin, square pieces of latex that are used by dentists but can also be used for oral sex. They get their names from their use in dental procedures. This is available from the dentist and pharmacy as well.
Testing after the window period of 1 -3 months or 4 - 12 weeks is a reliable way of knowing the HIV status. DSC CLINIC |
| Q. I've been sexually active these past few months and even though I use protection there have been times where there was some unprotected sex. I have no syptoms that I can see, but I was wondering if there were any simple things I could look out for on my body to see if there are signs of some sort of STI. If I do need testing, which would be the best and most cost effective location to get tested, as I do not the resources to go to certain higher priced clinics. |
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A. Not all STIs will surface with the signs and symptoms and can be tested. You can look out for genital discharge, rash, growth and ulcer as a gauge for infections. You may consider taking a blood test 3 months after exposure for HIV, Syphilis and Hepatitis B. A Herpes blood test will be reliable if done under the Type Specific Serology Test (HSV TSST) for Herpes but it may not be widely available. This screens for previous exposure to the virus, which can be done 8 weeks after the exposure. DSC CLINIC
For a male, other screening involves swabs to be taken from the penis. Additional swabs may also be taken from the rectum and throat. You will need to hold urine for 4 hours before the swabs can be taken. The tests can be done shortly after exposure and will screen for:
-Gonorrhoea
- NGU/Chlamydia
These tests can be performed at any STI specialist like the DSC Clinic. |
| Q. After having deep french kissing with a potentially HIV postive stranger, i realised that i had a bleeding cut on my gum. ( I am not sure if the stranger had a bleeding wound but i am not excluding the possibilty ) Should i be worried about HIV transmission and go for a HIV test? Thank you. |
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| A. There is no risk of getting STI and HIV through kissing, deep wet kissing or French kissing, unless there are bleeding lips, gums or ulcers in both parties at the same time, and even this is considered a low risk. There is no documented case of someone infected through this mode. DSC CLINIC |
| Q. Is sex important to a married couple? If the wife is unsatisfied with the performance of her husband, what should the husband do? |
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| A. Yes, sex is very important in a marriage and it is a very intimate form of communication for the couple. If a spouse if not satisfied, it is very important to share openly and identify the reason(s). In most instances, dissatisfaction is usually not due to one party but is pretty much the result of both parties directly or indirectly. It is also easy for one party to find excuses for his or her dissatisfaction and, in the process, neglect his or her own performance. Sometimes, discussion or talks between the couples may not happen smoothly or may not be initiated at all. It is important in this instance to explore relationship counseling with health professionals. Most sexual issues between couples can be reversible if the cause is identified. The process of identifying and understanding the cause can be a long and complex process so patience is key. |
| Q. Is it possible to have too many orgasms or ejaculations, and can a man ever run out of sperm? |
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| A. There have been observations that some men can have multiple orgasms and have the capacity to ejaculate a few times in a short time. However, most men have one orgasm and one ejaculation. A normal and fit man makes about 1000+ sperm every second so it is difficult to run out of sperm from the production rate. However, the ability to ejaculate sperm is limited by the physical ability of the man. |
| Q. I have often heard that men reach their sexual peak at 18 while women reach theirs at 35. Is this true? At what age can a male impregnate a female and can he ever be too young or too old? |
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| A. It really depends on how you define sexual peak. I think it is a very subjective issue depending on the sexual experience of the person and also ability of the person to feel his or her own primal instincts and emotions. A boy in his puberty should have organs and gametes mature enough to impregnate a female, biologically speaking. |
| Q. Can I have sex with a urine infection, and will the man catch anything or contract it? |
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| A. Having sex with a urinary tract infection may exacerbate the infection. The risk of the man contracting the urinary infection is low but may occur if his immune system is very low. You should take a rest and have sex only when your urinary tract infection is resolved. This will also give you a better quality of sex. |
| Q. I am 36 years old and have never had sex. Should I start having pap smears? How often do I need to have them once I’ve started? |
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| A. It is true that you will have a lower risk of getting cervical cancer if you do not have sex but it is good to have a pap smear as a baseline. Your local doctor may ask you to have one pap smear per year until you have three normal ones. You are likely to have normal pap smears unless you are sexually active. |
| Q: My uncle told me that he stayed young is by conserving his semen. Is it true that a man loses energy and ages every time he ejaculates? |
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| The ejaculation process will not only consume energy, but emotions and bodily fluids as well. However, our body is designed to rejuvenate itself given enough rest. In other words, there are also many other processes, such as exercise, which will consume energy and bodily fluids too. If we overdo it without giving the body enough rest, the body will feel tired. However, ejaculation also has many positive effects, like helping as a part of stress relief and the process of procreation. Basically, it is important that you give your body enough rest between ejaculations, and then you will feel more of the positive effects than the negative ones. |
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Q: A sticky and transparent fluid that comes out from my penis when it is erect. What could it be? Is it common for guys to have this? |
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| The fluid is likely to be your semen, which may or may not contain sperm. It is a medium that provides nutrition to the sperm as well as for the sperm to swim in. ItÕs common for a guy to show some trace of semen at the tip of the penis, especially after some form of arousal. However, if you have a discharge that is yellow or foul smelling, it may point to certain sexually transmitted diseases. |
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Q: Is frequent masturbation one of the causes of premature ejaculation? I masturbate a lot Ð at least once or twice every day. Previously, I could last for three to five minutes each time. Now, I ejaculate within 20 seconds. I'm afraid it will affect my sex life in future. Should I stop masturbating? |
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There are many reasons behind premature ejaculation, which includes problems with your psychological wellbeing, circulatory system, nervous system, and etc. If you are fit and healthy, masturbation once or twice a day would usually not affect your wellbeing and it may even be a positive outlet for you to relieve stress. In theory, a man who masturbates frequently should be able to last longer. With practice, you should be able to maintain an erection and delay ejaculation. Check if you have made any changes in stimulating yourself recently, which could have made you ejaculate faster.
If you feel you have been masturbating too much, take a break and engage in sports, hobbies, or other activities that can distract you from your sexual urges. |
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Q: I have been with my boyfriend for four months now. I trust him completely, but there is one thing that he has told me that has bugged me ever since. The first time we were about to have sex, he said he couldnÕt wear a condom because it makes him go soft. He then told me that if I didn't believe him, we didn't have to go through with it. Now, we use other forms of protection when we have sex. IÕm curious because IÕve never heard of this before. |
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| You could ask your boyfriend to try a looser condom. This may afford him better sensation if getting a good erection is really the issue. I am a little worried when you mentioned Ôother forms of protectionÕ. Please take note that using other contraception methods such as pills cannot eliminate the risk of acquiring sexually transmitted disease. Make sure you have protection for both unplanned pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. |
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Q: Do regular periods show that I am ovulating? |
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| If you are ovulating regularly and your body secretes the correct levels of hormones then you will probably have menstrual cycles every 25-32 days. Another way to put it is, if you menstruate regularly then chances are that you are probably ovulating just as regularly. However, it is possible for eggs to partially develop. Thus, even without the release of an ovum, hormones are still secreted and thus menstruation may still occur. In these instances, menstrual cycles usually tend to be irregular. Some women ovulate irregularly and have unpredictable cycles. Irregular cycles result in less frequent ovulation and also make the timing of intercourse more difficult, as ovulation is unpredictable. Some doctors also believe that eggs that take more than the usual fourteen days to develop are not as potentially fertile as those that develop within the given period. This would mean that even if ovulation were to take place in irregular cycles, the chances of conception are still reduced. |
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